Frequently Asked Questions
Yes, really, people have asked these questions.
Okay, wait. Maybe not. But they will eventually, and until then, something has to go up on this page.
Q: How old are you?
A: Somewhere between 25 and 25. I was born mumble mumble years ago, so yup ... that makes me 25.
Q: You often write about Corky Porky Pie. Is he a real dog?
A: Of course, you don't think I'd call my son, "Corky Porky Pie" do you?
Q: Where do you live?
A: Ha! I know you. You're that stalker that sent me two tubs of butter and a flashlight. No way I'm telling you where I live.
Unfortunately, those are all the questions we have time for right now, because I really need to go eat a few Twinkies.
In the meantime, please feel free to send legitimate offers to give me money, ask me to speak for money, or simply give me more money, at the email address on the home page. Please do not send requests for my bank account number so that you can pretend to send me fake money.
